But last night had not been about inspiration. No, it was frustration that had me up to all hours, writing and deleting, rewriting and deleting more. Finally, after staring at my computer and picturing what it would look like outside the front window, shattered glass all around it, the delicate wires and boards strewn on the sidewalk, I decided to go to bed, tossing and turning until the wee hours of the morning. So when I got up to take my sister to school, I had only been asleep about an hour.As I lay there, my head tilted up on my favorite feather pillow, watching the storm clouds dance across the sky through the window that was right above the head of my bed, that same frustration still filled me. Why couldn't things come out the way I wanted? I sometimes thought that the characters in my books and stories were alive and that they mocked me at times by doing exactly what I didn't want them to do. Or saying things that were out of character and changed the whole line of the story.. The thing that was not acceptable with Dr. Bloom was coming to our meetings dressed as if I'd just milked the cows or mowed the lawn. Me thinks the poor Doc doth not live in the real world. I have always been a student of meditation and felt that if I could allow myself to go deep, very deep down into a state of meditation with enough focus, and searching that I would find that person which I sought to be. The following is what I discovered. I disconnected the phone line to insure no interruptions. I kept the door open because there was no air conditioning in this place and I needed some sort of airflow through the house. No stereo or television, I did all I could to block as many obstructions as possible. The closest thing to outside noise was the sound of birds chirping in the tree outside my house. Fortunately our house was at the end of the road, a good quarter mile from the highway, which helped in keeping road noise to a minimum. I lay on my back on my large over stuffed couch,.
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